Archive for ‘Mow?’

September 29, 2011

Not Enough What Exactly?

So. Name changing. Quite the conversation happened yesterday about it. It’s a subject that always hits me hard … though, not in the ways you’d expect.

I changed my name, when I got married. For me, it was something I wanted to do. I DID talk to my dad first (my maiden name is very uncommon … as in worldwide, there are less than 200 people with the name) … had he had strong feelings about it, I would have kept it as a second middle name.* I wouldn’t have hyphenated. All this is to say I didn’t think twice about changing my name, and I’m happy I did it. Sarah MarriedLast feels more  like me than Sarah MaidenLast ever did.

When the name change talk comes up, my position is not generally one that’s widely smiled upon. The way it seems to me, I’m not considered feminist … or standing up for myself? … ENOUGH if I didn’t keep my maiden name. I consider this bullshit.

My choice may not have been yours, but damn it, it was MY. CHOICE. And it’s just as valid as the choices of my friends who kept their names, and my friends who hyphenated, and my friends who flat-out came up with a new name. So what is with the pushback? Why is it that even in a community of women who say they are built around a “no judgement zone” there are still an overwhelming majority who will tell you your choice isn’t as good as theirs?

And it’s not just name changing … especially when it comes to weddings. It’s been really hard to watch women who were – while planning – super supportive of everyone around them suddenly be of the “if you don’t do it my way you’re WRONG” mindset.

I had a religious, seated-catered-meal, long-white-gown wedding. With toasts and a cake that looked like a traditional wedding cake. Pretty much as far from “indie” as you can get. But it was our wedding, and it was lovely. Looking down your nose at me because I wasn’t indie enough is not going to win you any fans.

I can’t wait until this starts happening with children.**

I’m never going to understand this whole if-you-disagree-you’re-not-worth-anything mentality.

 

* Dad did have strong feelings about it … he asked my brother if he wanted kids someday. Brother said yes. Dad was satisfied that the name would continue, and told me not to worry about it. Practical man.

** FEEEEEEEL the sarcasm.

September 23, 2011

Friday? Where?

Today disappeared in a far too long admin project.

Seriously. 50 copies, collated and bound, of a 35 page document. A 35 page document that was NOT allowing me to print it collated.

Yah, just the collating took 2.5 hours.

It’s being bound now.

This on top of vendor meetings and tenant work.

Somewhere in the main DC office, there is a fleet of 22-year-old admins whining about not having any work.

::headdesk::

I’m stopping and getting margarita fixin’s on the way home tonight. It’s been a long time since I got on a tequila kick. Not sure if this is a good thing, or a bad thing.

Have a great weekend everyone!

September 22, 2011

Proof

Sometimes, just sometimes, I know what I’m talking about.

The husband did not go about this whole college thing very well. He took his time, took extra fun classes instead of the ones he was supposed to take *, and waited untill the VERY LAST SECOND for some rather important things.

This December, God willing, we’re DONE with school. Finally. Barring me going back (which is the plan at some point or other) the whole we’re-a-student-family thing will be DONE. Which means it’s time to get together his graduation petition, right? Due October 1st, no problem.

Um, big problem. He was a class short. A class he’s known about for almost a YEAR. A class we’d talked about all summer and he’d assured me was taken care of. 3 weeks into the semester and only 5 DAYS from the add deadline, he hasn’t attempted to add the class. Of course, the professor said no.

So, we look for other options. Find a class that fits into his schedule and meets the requirements. Professor agrees to add him. Go to the registrar and … nope, sorry, the classroom is at its capacity (Not the class, the classROOM. Fire codes and all.) Petition the correct office to re-assess the capacity. Hear back that they cannot, as the building is not owned by the university. We’ll need to go to the building owner, who will have to go through DCRA.**

Clearly, THAT was not going to happen in the 3 days we had left. Tired and stressed I told him the best solution would be for the prof to open up another section of the class. Then he could sit in on the class, but the registrar would be able to enroll him in the new section. Done and done, right? He looked at me cross-eyed. Apparently I was speaking French, and he was not comprehending a word. He decided to talk to the prof and see what could be done.

Well, last night he got an email. Prof says he’ll enroll husband in an independent study course … graded based on the syllabus for the over-full class. He’ll be required to attend as if he was enrolled in said over-full class. Registrar approves. Husband looks at me and says “wow, that’s a really smart solution!”

I blinked at him.

“Um, that’s EXACTLY what I suggested.”

Never let it be said that I don’t know what I’m doing. College? Professors? Pssh. I learned THAT system YEARS ago.

 

* His school offers a service they call “Degree Map”. We were looking at it last night. Credits wise, he’s 120% on track for graduation. CLASSES wise, he’s only at 94%. As of today that’ll be 100%, but really … 20% extra?!

** The DC Office of Regulatory Affairs. I deal with them regularly in my line of work. They are the definition of slow.

September 19, 2011

Reclaiming

You know, I’m not often disappointed in APW. It happens occasionally, but not often.

Today, though, I am.

I know that sentiment may be unpopular, but hear me out.

In today’s post we have a woman who has trouble with calling her partner “husband”.* For her, the word invokes the old stereotypical husband and wife roles, and she wants no part in it. No problem, that’s fair.

The problem I have is in the resolution of the issue. We just won’t use the word husband! See? Problem solved!

Except that the name of the damn site is RECLAIMING Wife. The intro flat-out says “we’ve talked a lot on APW about making, and not making, that word our own”. So, why are we reclaiming WIFE, but abandoning HUSBAND?

It just … cheapens the whole thing for me.  For all of the effort to really make “wife” into something we’re comfortable with and even proud of, we just throw away husband? Why is it any less worthy of reclaiming, reestablishing, reshaping into something worth keeping around?

To have the same women who comment so hard on making “wife” what they want it to be chiming in with “Yah! Me, too! What’s with that stupid word anyway?!” just irks me beyond belief.

Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but this whole “I’m only going to fight for it if it’s about ME” attitude really pisses me off.

 

* This is not a rant at the post author. She doesn’t like wife either, and that is totally fair. This rant is about everything else, NOT HER. Promise. =)

** File this under “Rawr Rawr Rawr, Get Off My Lawn!”

September 16, 2011

Once More

What, you guys thought I’d leave you hanging with the reunion drama?

In the last month, a new reunion has been put together. For October. At the local Dave & Busters … also known as the place people hung out at while we were IN high school. On the plus side, this makes it local for many many many of the people who will be attending. And it’s signifcantly cheaper. On them minus side … well, you guys have read enough of my opinion on this to figure out the minuses. =)

The latest drama is the freaking payment. YET AGAIN the organizer (totally different girl this time) use her own money to put down a non-refundable deposit. Then took RSVPs, but not payments. Now, she’s trying to collect money. Let’s just say, it’s not going well.

From the past week:

 

Hey everyone, only a few days left to send in your payment, we haven’t received payment from half of the RSVPs, in order to get this show on the road.. We need those payments!! Keep sending them in, hope u see EVERYONE on October 22!!

Payment is due this Friday :) We are in very grave danger of having to cancel because we got your RSVPs, but not your payments. Only about half have paid. We have worked really hard and have given a considerable amount of money for this already, all we need is your payments now. Payment is NOT accepted at the door. If we don’t get your payments in by Friday, we will have to cancel. Links to Paypal have been sent to your email and are on this page. You even have an option to drop by a Wells Fargo to pay. Please send in your payments so we can keep this going.

It’s [name removed] here, and I wanted to write you all because I want to let you all know, we have worked really hard at getting this reunion organized, nice, and fun. We listened to all of you to change the date, changed the entire reunion committee, and changed the venue to make it local. We even made sure all of you gave your RSVP’s before we put our deposits down, to get the excitement rolling again!! Now do something for us and pay!

Hey everyone: If you are in some sort of financial trouble and you cannot go anymore, please let us know…our money is on the line too, and the longer we wait, more money of ours is down the drain, which honestly, is not fair to us. Please let us know. Thank you!! :)

Good Afternoon everyone!! Woke up to a lot of payments and e-mails, which is great! It gets us pumped! There were a few questions I would like to answer: You will be refunded if we have to cancel, which I hope we don’t! :) Being honest, we can’t make this happen without your payment! If your plan is to pay on the 16th, please let me know…but if you’re thinking about waiting until the 17th, its not wise because if everyone thought that, this wouldn’t happen.
 
Thank you to everyone who paid today and yesterday, things are coming together and things are looking up, let’s get those payments in by Friday so we can take the next step!! The reunion is only 6 weeks away, it is gonna be such a blast!!!
 
Payment is due this Friday! Don’t wait, pay so we can make this happen!!!
 
WE CANNOT MAKE THIS HAPPEN WITHOUT ALL OF YOU!
 
Thank you so much to all our classmates who have stepped up to the plate the last couple of days and made your payments on PayPal and gone into your local Wells Fargo!! It really shows how much everyone appreciates the committee’s hard work and how pumped up everyone is for our reunion!! It’s gonna be a blast!!!
 
only 1 day until payment is due!! We need your payments to make this happen! :)
 
Just a heads up, we haven’t received enough payments yet to put the next deposit down, remember there is only 1 day left!!! Let’s do this class of 2001!!!!
 
Payment is due tomorrow!!!!! Send them in! We need to make this happen!
 
Tomorrow is the last day to pay, hopefully people come through so we can make This happen!!! Email us if u have any questions or concerns
 
Only hours left to make your payment for our reunion!! Hope everyone comes through!! Let’s do this!
 
 
And THAT doesn’t even include the emails they’ve sent, and personal messages they’ve put on people’s FB walls. I’ve been emailed four times saying they haven’t received my payment … and responded that they didn’t get my RSVP either, so stop harassing me.
 
Hmm. Something tells me this isn’t going to happen.
 
Oh … and for those of you wondering about the caliber of people I went to school with? Here’s a bit I snagged from one of my classmate’s pages. All spelling errors are hers:
 
Religious Views
 
Political Views
 
Favorite Quotations Life is drama drama is life deil with it. Go foreword to the future and never look back. To know you is to love you to love you is to know you. Quote form st tng’s data
 
::snorts::
 
Have a good weekend, guys. =)

 

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