Who Goes To Texas Anyway?


Apparently no one can see my ramblings when I DON’T.  HIT. PUBLISH.

And here I was all weekend thinking no one liked me. ::headdesk::



SO! There was a weekend! It was what one would refer to as a FULL weekend. Full of awesome, that is! (And bug bites. Those weren’t so awesome.) Enough chatter though, let’s dive right in:

I suppose the shenanigans started when I got home from work on Wednesday, and a lovely package from Rent the Runway had arrived … bearing the sexy little dress you all helped me with! Whee!

Or almost. The dress, dear ones, was too small. No problem, they always send two sizes! Um … nope. The second one was too BIG. Well crap. So, after digging out my wedding bra (you know, the backless (aka full fronted corsety) one) and a pair of control top pantyhose, and a good 30 minutes of conferring with Miss Lauren, I downgraded from “too small” to “the tightest dress I’ve ever worn in my life.”

Game on.

Thursday flies by, and I’m on a plane to Atlanta (hi Georgia!) and then Houston (hi HEAT AND HUMIDITY). The first flight went as you hope all flights do and was completely uneventful. The second flight however … screaming baby? Check.* Drunken idiot? Double Check.** Needless to say, it was a fun flight.

I land, and my adventures with bugs begin. Potato bugs that fly directly into my face? Nice welcome, Texas. I don’t think we are going to be friends. I eventually get assigned my car (with a free GPS system? Don’t mind of I do!) and head off to find a bed. Took about an hour, but I finally got to the apartment and crashed out.

Friday morning it was off to see Rachelle! Who is even more fabulous in person than on the interwebs, so people? Make her your friend. Seriously. Oh, and she manages to somehow stay looking cool and unruffled in the face of 98 degree + 80% humidity weather (yes, I checked as I was melting), so clearly she’s a goddess and we must learn her secrets. We had a delicious lunch, and then headed to get our nails done. Let me tell you … that pedicure was HEAVEN. Even if I did look like this at one point:

Yes, that would be scorchingly hot towels and plastic baggies. The baggies were full of paraffin wax, so it was WORTH IT. My feet have never been happier. Oh, and the pedicure hasn’t chipped, even a week later. Woot!

So lunch and mani/pedis took longer than expected, so I had to rush when I got back to the apartment. You guys are amazing, and gave me some FABULOUS advice when it came to styling said sexy dress …  so here’s what I did: The hair was done in big curls, and gathered into a pony over my left shoulder (this helped with the neckline-that-was-not-designed-for-a-small-chested-girl, too!), with one curl wrapped around the hair band. Rock on. Took about 10 minutes, and looked GREAT. Sadly, I didn’t get a picture of it until the end of the night, so it had mostly fallen, but you’ll have to take my word for it. Dark eyes, false lashes, light lips, black pashmina, and bronze strappy shoes. I. FELT. HAWT.

Apparently I looked it, too. Upon arriving to the ceremony, the security guys offered to give me a ride to the chapel (which was all of 50 yards away). The girls serving dinner asked where I got the dress. And my favorite … one of my college friends looking me over and saying “Good LORD, Sarah.” Then he turned to a friend and said “Rob*** is an IDIOT.”

Total victory.

So, the wedding. It was … awkward. The bride grimaced at me as she walked down the aisle. The groom sang the processional (he has an AH-MAZING voice) and made me cry with his vows. The pastor’s entire message was on the dangers of divorce (um, on the nose much?). The bridesmaids beamed. Not one of the groomsman cracked a smile. The bride looked  smug the entire time.

Well then.

The reception, however, was a blast. I was sitting with college friends & some of the groom’s other friends, and we started the drinking immediately. And telling shameless stories. And the boys at one point decided to “dance”:


I’m not quite sure where the red sunglasses came from, but I do know that I was wearing them at one point. And that I drunkenly taught Steve (the one in the vest) to moonwalk later in the evening. Like you do.

The bride and groom went through all the formalities and traditions:


(Side note … I LOVE the photo of the mother-son dance. It was too cute in person. He was singing to her and she was just overjoyed. I may or may not have teared up.)

All in all, a lovely evening. Even with the awkward. I DID remember to grab a photo with the groom, though! It’ll go in my collection of J-and-I-look-toasted photos. We have them dating back to 1998. It’s AWESOME. And it goes nicely with the photo we took at my wedding:


I managed to earn myself an invite to the day-after brunch (by catching the bride at a moment where she’d asked 3 family members if she’d “see them tomorrow” … at which point she looked FURIOUS with herself when she said it to me), so I put on my best I’m-a-good-Christian****-girl outfit (maxi dress with a cardigan) and went to … oh right, booze it up.

You guys, I spent 4 hours schmoozing with the bride’s parents and aunt, chatting with the groom’s family (who are basically family to me at this point), and HITTING THE BRIDE OVER THE HEAD with congrats and smiles and helpful actions and so on. I even offered to take photos of them opening their gifts:


Which of course would not have been complete without a little bit of goofiness from the groom:


I heart that boy.

Anyway, as I was leaving, I overhear the bride’s mother say to her, “She’s such a nice girl. You and J are so lucky to know her.”


Giggling, I drove away from their beautiful new home*****:


And began my drive up to see Alyssa!! 3 hours and 12 minutes (in other words, DAMN GOOD TIME), I was sitting in her lovely home. With Maggie the Wonder Dog (who I nearly stole, she was so cute) sneaking over to lick my toes. And sneeze on me. Which was hilarious, and not nearly as mortifying as Alyssa says.

You guys … we had SUCH. A. GOOD. TIME. We ordered pizza, made margaritas, and talked. Woke up the next morning and talked. Watched Toddlers & Tiaras (the HORROR!!) and the Tonys and Doctor Who (well maybe that was just me), and talked. Ate fabulous foods at Babe’s and talked. Went to the mall (what else do you do when it’s so hot outside AND a holiday weekend (with holiday sales!)??) where she helped me pick out this fabulous shirt and necklace:


Full disclosure: I’m wearing it again today. In a different way, of course, but it is dangerously close to becoming my go-to for, oh, every day wearing.

After our shopping extravaganza (a shirt, a dress and a necklace? SCORE!) we headed back to the house, where we talked. And found (sadly) sub par Chinese food. Made more margaritas. And talked. And talked. And talked. Seriously, it was like BOOM, INSTANT FRIENDS, let’s tell our whole life stories!

The next morning there was this deliciousness:



After yet MORE talking, I packed up and headed out … back down to Houston (3 hours 42 minutes this time! Still damn good time.) to catch my flight home. Which was only remarkable for the size of the planes:


The first one (from Houston to Philly) held 100 people. The second, 20. Yep, 20 people. US Airways Express = Puddle Jumpers R Us. But it DID enable us to fly low enough to see the fireworks shows going off all over the country. ::grins::

Safely home a few hours later I quite nearly passed out before making it to my bed.

It was a fantastic weekend. =)

And thus we complete the LONGEST WEEKEND RECAP EVAR. Feel free to have a nap. =)


* I’ve never felt bad for the parent of the screaming baby until now. Poor mother was walking up and down the aisle, trying to calm her baby, almost to the point of tears herself. =(

** 2 of them. In my aisle. I fell asleep at one point, only to be woken up later by kicks coming from the guy SITTING NEXT TO ME. They were loud and fidgety the whole time … probably what kept the baby awake, now that I think about it. Oh, and they decided to toss their empty mini-vodka bottles in my bag. I found them later. Asshats.

*** The ex I dated all through college. He roomed with a lot of the groomsmen.

**** Or rather, the bride’s family’s definition of a “good Christian” ::shudders::

***** WHO has a house like this directly after getting married?! I’m so jealous it’s insane.

9 Responses to “Who Goes To Texas Anyway?”

  1. 1. Wedding bras are magical, aren’t they?
    2. I already said this on Twitter, but you looked SMOKIN’!!!! Amazing dress on you.
    3. Your friend does sound like the sweetest guy. Wishing him lots of luck!

  2. Aww Sarah you are too nice! I really look like crap most of the time, but I got all fancy for you because I cannot let the internets know I’m usually a hot mess : )

    I will refrain from making any comments about the wedding lest I bring bad karma upon myself, but I will say that you looked HOT in that dress (good hot, of course, not Texas hot)!

    Also I have single friends who are two years out of college at moderately paid jobs who have bought giant houses. Real estate here is crazy cheap in the burbs and it kills me because now I don’t know if we’ll ever move. Watching House Hunters scares me into staying.

    • Psssh …. you didn’t melt. I still think there’s more to it than just getting all fancy. =)

      RIGHT?! I can’t believe how little they paid for that. Driving to the apartment I saw a sign for “3 bedroom homes, starting in the low $90s” and I almost cried. 3 bedroom homes around HERE start at the low $700s. CONDOS go for $350, if you’re lucky.


  3. Sounds like a total success. I’m super jealous of your time spent with Rachelle and Alyssa! And that dress really is a knock out.

  4. I’m so sad I missed this post! And YES, we had SUCH a good time! Next time, bring Rachel! We’ll have perfected our margaritas by then… 😉

  5. You’re amazeballs. The dress is HAWT.


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