Archive for September 14th, 2011

September 14, 2011

Regret

Over the last couple of days I’ve been reminded of just how much I was enjoying my life a few years ago … and how much I miss that.

First off, looking up a construction project here in DC, I came across this. Half way through it I realized just how masterfully put together it was. And my appreciation grew. Because this is what I used to do for a living. Offering Memorandums, they’re called. Marketing at it’s finest … making an area, a project, a company look attractive, spinning the demographics, detailing all the little things that make this package SPECIAL … and then, of course, laying it out so it all comes together nice and pretty. It was a job that allowed me to be creative, and at the same time hold my completed work in my hands, and know I’d done well.

I lost that job due to world-wide layoffs (I was with a Fortune 500 company at the time) in July 2008. Commercial real estate was coming to a crashing halt, and there was no way I was going to find a comparable position with another company.

It took me until April of last year to find ANY position in commercial real estate, and this time, I’m on the property management side. It’s something I enjoy, and am good at, but sometimes I really miss the marketing. REALLY miss it.

Then there was Monday night. Driving home from bible study, I called my dad to catch up. He filled me in on all KINDS of things (he’s working again, my sister got a car, an uncle moved, etc etc etc) that I would have heard about right away, if I were still living in California. I miss it. I miss being able to be close to my dad and my siblings (the rest of the family is an entirely separate post). I HATE that I will not be there to tag along with my sister as she plans her wedding. I mean, sure, I’ll be involved in the planning (mostly because I don’t mind putting myself in front of her when psycho-opinionated-family-members start up, having had it done to me) but … when she shops for her dress? When she wants to sit down and giggle over magazines? When she’s overwhelmed and needs a good cry, hug, and some wine?

Not to mention that I haven’t seen our nephew since he was 2 weeks old. The husband has NEVER met him. Baby boy is teething now, it’s been so long. And the godson is growing up far too fast. I’m incredibly blessed that he’s the type of child who remembers everyone … he doesn’t forget me when I’m not around for 6 months. He knows me, and knows that I’m special. But I hate that I’m missing this last year before he’s off to school.

Basically, I’m just down in the dumps about it all. The fact that the long dark winter is only a few weeks away is not improving my mood. So I sit here. Wallowing to myself. ]

::sighs::

Nothing to see here. Move along.

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