Archive for September 30th, 2011

September 30, 2011

Time Off

This morning my husband started an unexpected conversation. While discussing a friend with a young daughter he asked when a child can begin pre-school (the friend’s daughter is 3). Then, he turned to me and asked:

“What would you think of staying home for the first three years? Would you be ok with doing that?”

What followed was a conversation about the timing of children, schooling preferences, stay-at-home-parent preferences, and career aspirations. A little heavy for a Friday morning while getting ready for work.

But you guys? It was easy.

After all, this is the man who once told me his salary aspirations included making enough that I could quit my job, if I so chose. Sure, that was about money, but the fact that he realized it was a choice I could someday make, and was respectful of it, was enough for me.

What that says about our relationship … that we can discuss major life decisions over teeth brushing and make-up application … is reassuring, and for another day.

This morning, though, he was wanting to know (once we’d talked through it all) how I would deal with going back to work … if I chose to do so once our child(ren) was (were) in school. He was concerned there would be attachment issues … or a feeling of disjointment. Would I want to jump right back in, or take some time? Work part-time, or not at all, or full-time and find a babysitter for the afternoons? Would I be ok? For that matter, what was my sister planning on doing, now that she has a son, but is still in school?*

It was interesting to hear how our opinions on the subject matched … and didn’t. For the record, I’m not positive I would stay home for years, but I might. I also might decide I’d rather not “go back” to work and find something else to do. It’s nice to know that no matter what we decide to do, he’s behind me 100%.

How about you? How are you planning on handling … or not … the kidlets?


*The sister is in school to be a grade-school (specifically 2nd grade) teacher. Our mother ran a daycare out of our home for 10 years where she had mostly teachers’ kids. Those that were old enough to be in school themselves were generally at our house for an hour and a half most days. Just enough time for someone to meet them at the bus, and for their homework to be done. The sister will be FINE.