Archive for ‘Dilemma!’

October 19, 2011

Party of …. 1.5

Who’s the decision maker in your family? Is it both of you? You? Your partner?

At our place, it’s me. I’m the one who makes sure the bills are paid on time. Who makes sure we grocery shop when the pantry/fridge are looking bare. Who tries to plan ahead.

The husband, however, has the bad habit of ignoring my requests for input, or saying “no let me take care of it!” and then postponing as long as he can. It’s like pulling teeth, I swear.

This past week, however, it’s hit the fan.

1. I find a deal for Christmas cards. Knowing better than to call him in the middle of the day, I send him an email “Do you have people to add to our Christmas card list? If so, roughly how many? I found a deal and I want to grab it right away.” He reads the email, doesn’t respond. Also, doesn’t get home until 11pm (school and all). By the time I drag an answer out of him, the deals are sold out.

2. A running blogger I follow has been singing the praises of a certain pair of shorts. Yesterday, they were on sale for HALF PRICE. Knowing we’re broke, I shoot him an email to see if he thinks it’s worth it. I had to re-ask this morning, before work. He said eh, it’s up to me. I try to buy them … and they’re back to full price.

3. I still have not met most of his family. His dad’s siblings and so on could not afford to come to our wedding and, as they mostly live in the Seattle area, it’s not like we have many opportunities to see them. 2 years ago, family drama meant I wasn’t allowed to go to the grand family gathering at Thanksgiving. ::grumbles:: Last year, we were in Columbus with his mom’s family. This year, I was determined to make it to Seattle. Not only did I want to see everyone, this may be one of the last chances for me to meet his rapidly deteriorating grandparents. He said he wanted to talk to his mom and find out the plans. For 3 MONTHS I looked up flights, sent him emails, had conversations with him, pushed him along. I mean, I know he’s busy, but dammit, make the call so we don’t have to spend ALL our funds on flights. This week I look again … and guess what? The flights are officially too expensive. We can’t go, no matter what. And he STILL hasn’t talked to his mom about it.

I’m just so, so done. I’m getting sick of being ignored, or pushed off while he focuses on whatever has his attention at that moment.* I’m sick of missing opportunities because I’m trying to include him in the decisions for our family.

Does this happen to anyone else? Or anything similar? How do you cope with it? How do you fix it? We’ve discussed (and fought about) it so many times … and nothing changes.

It’s giving me a severe case of the sads today.


* Ok, that was mean. But really, that’s what it feels like.

October 17, 2011

Dream Chance

So … we’ve discussed my past in dance, and the reason I can’t anymore, right? Now is one of those times where the Fear comes back.

At the end of this year, the Merce Cunningham Dance Company will be closing its doors. Their final performance will be at the Park Avenue Armory on New Year’s Eve. But before that, they’ll be here, in DC, at the Kennedy Center.


It’s been a dream of mine for the past oh, 15 years, to dance with/for Merce Cunningham. My focus was always in modern choreography, and they do it better than anyone I’ve ever seen. I was lucky enough in 2007 (just months after my accident) to  see the company perform three pieces … two of which were premieres.

eyeSPACE was something new and unusual … an hour-long piece of choreography, with no music. Each audience member was given an iPod Shuffle … and told when to begin playing. Each iPod had different accompaniment  … some were music, some were city or nature sounds, and at least one was a spanish lesson. (My date for the night had that one.) You could also choose to take out your headphones, and just listen to the sounds of the dance itself. Everyone in the audience had an entirely unique experience. It was a study in DANCE as a stand alone art form … not just as an accompaniment to music.

It was stunning.

I, of course, cried my way through that performance. For the beauty, and for everything lost. When applying to take classes with the company (in hopes of becoming a company member one day), they put you through a course of back strength testing and build up. Specifically, lower back. The part that was so much trouble for me. So … that was out.

And this year, they’re closing. But as a grand farewell, they’re doing the Legacy Tour … and one stop is here. On December 2nd. Any way I can, I’m going.

Here comes the scary part:

On December 3rd, they’re offering a Master Class for intermediate to advanced dancers. I’m not at that level anymore. I’d say, thanks to my limitations, I’m a low intermediate. (And yes, that just killed me to write.) I don’t know that I could handle it.

My husband last night said “It might hurt.” I thought he was talking physically … he was talking emotionally. God love him for trying to protect me … he knows how upset I get any time I’m faced with something I used to be able to do so easily, and just can’t anymore.

But IT’S A CHANCE TO DANCE WITH MERCE. A chance that will NEVER happen again.

And I’m terrified.

What do I do?


As a side bonus … CoisCéim Dance Theatre … from Dublin. I saw this program (Knots) in 2005. This video does NOT do it justice. It’s so much more intricate and dramatic live. The camera work here is just terrible.*

The duet at 4:00 was the last piece I ever performed … just 2 weeks before my accident. It was raw, and emotional … just like you’d expect it to be. Oh … and my shirt wasn’t torn. 



*Though I do LOVE that they didn’t try to edit the bruises out. That was a dance that left huge welts. It was worth it.

October 11, 2011

Style Help: Party Planning

Thanks to a lovely birthday certificate from Rent the Runway (yay, perks!), I’m starting Christmas party preparations early this year. Specifically, WORK Christmas parties.

You see, I’m in that always awkward situation of being a first-time attendee to my company’s holiday blowout. All I know of said blowout is that it’s on a Thursday night, and I’ve been told I shouldn’t miss it. What I DON’T know is the vibe of this party … what does everyone wear? Should I eat ahead of time? Figure out a ride home so I’m not driving? Is it a cocktail party, or a seated dinner, or dinner and dancing?

Hrumph. It couldn’t be EASY, right?

So … I think I’ve settled on a dress. But I need help! Does this outfit work? Should I look for something else? Make additions? Take something out?

Ah, affirmation.

In any case … here we go:




Fairly modest, business cut. But the color makes it fun! I figure I can wear a cardigan to work that day, then take it off for the party. If everyone else is in their business wear, it fits. If everyone is in party wear, it STILL fits … it’s a Kate Spade, after all.




I already have these in my closet … well, not THESE, but some that look almost exactly like them. Done and done.





This bangle is really just too good to pass up. Also Kate Spade, it matches the dress PERFECTLY. And it’s only $32. Anyone want to get it for me for my birthday? ::winks::

To play off the gold in the bangle, I have a pair of leaf-shaped gold wire earrings … gifted by my husband a few years ago. The only picture I have of them is in a full outfit shot from a while ago, but you can get an idea of the shape and size:




To further play off the gold of the jewelry (and the black of the shoes), there’s this bag. Do we think it’s too much?


So there you have it. What do we think? Opinions and other options are more than welcome!

October 3, 2011

Style Help: Hair!

So. Hair.

I’ve never been one to alter my hair, color wise. The one and only time I’ve dyed it was during my senior year of high school: I lost a bet, and my forfeit was to temporarily (as in the foam-last-for-a-week type) dye it a color of the victor’s choosing.

Luckily, the victor was my on-again-off-again flirt partner, Matt. He, not wanting to get out of my good graces, chose a bright burgundy. In my dark hair, it ended up looking spot on to the “black cherry” color that was so popular for cars that year. (Christy … do you have any pictures from that trip?) I LOVED it.

It lasted 2 washes. We did Christy’s hair from the same bottle … in her hair it lasted almost 2 months. Knowing what I know about hair composition now, it makes sense. At the time I figured my hair was just stupid, and so I never re-dyed it.

And then last week happened.

My hair is naturally a dark brown, with a TON of red highlights that show up when I’m out in the sun regularly. (When I was little people would accuse my mom of dying my hair for back-to-school … after a summer playing outdoors, I was basically a redhead.) Oh, and my eyebrows are red. And on my way to work Thursday I flipped down the mirror, saw a red eyebrow, and thought “I should dye my hair red.”

Cue frantic googling of red hair to determine the different options.

Also cue debilitating panic at the thought of messing something up.

Ideally, I’d end up with a natural red … not much lighter than my current color, but not dark cherry either. I think what I’m after is  more of what I remember from childhood … the dark brown with a ton of highlights. Or something like this, just a little darker: *


Um, yah. I don’t have the money to spend on a professional quality highlight job right now.

So that leaves doing it at home. I’m not ABOUT to mess with highlights … so that leaves full color. And I’m thinking a demi-color … a 28 wash type? That’d be about a month which how often I have to wash my hair (I have oily curly hair … super odd. I blame my parents.). Like I said, I’m terrified of messing something up.

Oh, and then throw in a husband who says “But I like your hair the way it is.”


Does anyone have suggestions? Should I try? Tips and tricks? Color suggestions? Brand suggestions? Or should I just forget the whole thing?


* Don’t act like you don’t take pictures of celebrities to your stylist. I’m TOTALLY not alone in this.

September 9, 2011


As many of you will remember, last week I went off my rocker on Twitter trying to figure out who sent me the large cardboard box sitting on my doorstep. You see, this box contained THIS:


WHEE!! But seriously, that’s a rather expensive surprise gift.

Much digging around happened (all the while trying to keep myself from being giddy over the entire thing) until finally my phone rang:

“So I hear they forgot to put our note on the packing slip.” *

It was Miss Jenn, the lovely lady who I’ve been working with to alter and personalize her Sisterhood of the Traveling Dress wedding gown! She and her bridesmaid, Monica, had arranged to send me the mixer as payment and thank you for the work I was doing on their dresses.


Now knowing who the mystery benefactor was, I proceeded to jump around the house squealing, with the husband. He knows it’s something I’ve been wanting for a long time (seriously, I had to choose between a mixer and other things multiple times in the past couple of years), and was just as giddy as I was to finally have it. **

So we unpack it, and realize … OOPS … our kitchen stuff really doesn’t match. But crap, this is the color that was especially picked out for us (i.e. it wasn’t the standard red). Hmmm … what to do?

Well, Jenn settled that. While stopping by for her final fitting she saw it on the counter and said “Huh, that’s not the color I thought it was going to be.” She proceeded to fill me in on the sneakiness she and Rachel had been doing, trying to figure out which color we wanted, and told me to return it for the color we liked best.

So we did. ***

She showed up yesterday.



Meet … well, she doesn’t have a name yet. Lauren says she looks like “a lady who lunches”. Anyone have name suggestions? And I tell you right now, my mixer will NOT be named Muffy. Yick.

Isn’t she pretty? I may or may not have spent the better part of last night with my cheek pressed against the top, hugging her. What? Don’t look at me like that! You’d do it, too!

So yes … a name is needed. And a suggestion for an inaugural use. After all, the weekend is here, and the great wide world of baking is mine to conquer!



* Or something along those lines. Sorry, Jenn, I can’t remember exactly!


*** The color is Pistachio, for those interested. The husband keeps saying it looks vintage-y … which is the same thought I had when I first was looking at the different colors. $10 says it’s the same color as my mom’s. It goes perfectly in our kitchen. I LOVE IT.