Little Pieces Everywhere

Who’s the decision maker in your family? Is it both of you? You? Your partner?

At our place, it’s me. I’m the one who makes sure the bills are paid on time. Who makes sure we grocery shop when the pantry/fridge are looking bare. Who tries to plan ahead.

The husband, however, has the bad habit of ignoring my requests for input, or saying “no let me take care of it!” and then postponing as long as he can. It’s like pulling teeth, I swear.

This past week, however, it’s hit the fan.

1. I find a deal for Christmas cards. Knowing better than to call him in the middle of the day, I send him an email “Do you have people to add to our Christmas card list? If so, roughly how many? I found a deal and I want to grab it right away.” He reads the email, doesn’t respond. Also, doesn’t get home until 11pm (school and all). By the time I drag an answer out of him, the deals are sold out.

2. A running blogger I follow has been singing the praises of a certain pair of shorts. Yesterday, they were on sale for HALF PRICE. Knowing we’re broke, I shoot him an email to see if he thinks it’s worth it. I had to re-ask this morning, before work. He said eh, it’s up to me. I try to buy them … and they’re back to full price.

3. I still have not met most of his family. His dad’s siblings and so on could not afford to come to our wedding and, as they mostly live in the Seattle area, it’s not like we have many opportunities to see them. 2 years ago, family drama meant I wasn’t allowed to go to the grand family gathering at Thanksgiving. ::grumbles:: Last year, we were in Columbus with his mom’s family. This year, I was determined to make it to Seattle. Not only did I want to see everyone, this may be one of the last chances for me to meet his rapidly deteriorating grandparents. He said he wanted to talk to his mom and find out the plans. For 3 MONTHS I looked up flights, sent him emails, had conversations with him, pushed him along. I mean, I know he’s busy, but dammit, make the call so we don’t have to spend ALL our funds on flights. This week I look again … and guess what? The flights are officially too expensive. We can’t go, no matter what. And he STILL hasn’t talked to his mom about it.

I’m just so, so done. I’m getting sick of being ignored, or pushed off while he focuses on whatever has his attention at that moment.* I’m sick of missing opportunities because I’m trying to include him in the decisions for our family.

Does this happen to anyone else? Or anything similar? How do you cope with it? How do you fix it? We’ve discussed (and fought about) it so many times … and nothing changes.

It’s giving me a severe case of the sads today.

* Ok, that was mean. But really, that’s what it feels like.

Thanks to a lovely birthday certificate from Rent the Runway (yay, perks!), I’m starting Christmas party preparations early this year. Specifically, WORK Christmas parties.

You see, I’m in that always awkward situation of being a first-time attendee to my company’s holiday blowout. All I know of said blowout is that it’s on a Thursday night, and I’ve been told I shouldn’t miss it. What I DON’T know is the vibe of this party … what does everyone wear? Should I eat ahead of time? Figure out a ride home so I’m not driving? Is it a cocktail party, or a seated dinner, or dinner and dancing?

Hrumph. It couldn’t be EASY, right?

So … I think I’ve settled on a dress. But I need help! Does this outfit work? Should I look for something else? Make additions? Take something out?

Ah, affirmation.

In any case … here we go:

THE DRESS

Fairly modest, business cut. But the color makes it fun! I figure I can wear a cardigan to work that day, then take it off for the party. If everyone else is in their business wear, it fits. If everyone is in party wear, it STILL fits … it’s a Kate Spade, after all.

THE SHOES

I already have these in my closet … well, not THESE, but some that look almost exactly like them. Done and done.

THE JEWELRY

This bangle is really just too good to pass up. Also Kate Spade, it matches the dress PERFECTLY. And it’s only $32. Anyone want to get it for me for my birthday? ::winks::

To play off the gold in the bangle, I have a pair of leaf-shaped gold wire earrings … gifted by my husband a few years ago. The only picture I have of them is in a full outfit shot from a while ago, but you can get an idea of the shape and size:

THE HANDBAG

To further play off the gold of the jewelry (and the black of the shoes), there’s this bag. Do we think it’s too much?

So there you have it. What do we think? Opinions and other options are more than welcome!

So. Hair.

I’ve never been one to alter my hair, color wise. The one and only time I’ve dyed it was during my senior year of high school: I lost a bet, and my forfeit was to temporarily (as in the foam-last-for-a-week type) dye it a color of the victor’s choosing.

Luckily, the victor was my on-again-off-again flirt partner, Matt. He, not wanting to get out of my good graces, chose a bright burgundy. In my dark hair, it ended up looking spot on to the “black cherry” color that was so popular for cars that year. (Christy … do you have any pictures from that trip?) I LOVED it.

It lasted 2 washes. We did Christy’s hair from the same bottle … in her hair it lasted almost 2 months. Knowing what I know about hair composition now, it makes sense. At the time I figured my hair was just stupid, and so I never re-dyed it.

And then last week happened.

My hair is naturally a dark brown, with a TON of red highlights that show up when I’m out in the sun regularly. (When I was little people would accuse my mom of dying my hair for back-to-school … after a summer playing outdoors, I was basically a redhead.) Oh, and my eyebrows are red. And on my way to work Thursday I flipped down the mirror, saw a red eyebrow, and thought “I should dye my hair red.”

Cue frantic googling of red hair to determine the different options.

Also cue debilitating panic at the thought of messing something up.

Ideally, I’d end up with a natural red … not much lighter than my current color, but not dark cherry either. I think what I’m after is  more of what I remember from childhood … the dark brown with a ton of highlights. Or something like this, just a little darker: *

Um, yah. I don’t have the money to spend on a professional quality highlight job right now.

So that leaves doing it at home. I’m not ABOUT to mess with highlights … so that leaves full color. And I’m thinking a demi-color … a 28 wash type? That’d be about a month which how often I have to wash my hair (I have oily curly hair … super odd. I blame my parents.). Like I said, I’m terrified of messing something up.

Oh, and then throw in a husband who says “But I like your hair the way it is.”

HELP!

Does anyone have suggestions? Should I try? Tips and tricks? Color suggestions? Brand suggestions? Or should I just forget the whole thing?

* Don’t act like you don’t take pictures of celebrities to your stylist. I’m TOTALLY not alone in this.